Sex and Transitioning (Part I)

Was your summer as hot as it might have been?  Are you transitioning from a cool summer into an even cooler Fall?  Sex, like the seasons, can be transitional.  How do you handle the changes in cycles: life, sex and the pursuit of satisfaction.


Definition: The period of time or process of changing from one state of being or condition to another.

Summer is over and Fall is beginning.

In our culture this time of transition is the one that affects us with a punch.

Our summer expectations may have been realized or not and Fall is seen as back to reality.

How was your sex life over the summer?

Did you;

begin a new sex life or end an old one?

Are there Changes in your existing sex life?

Are you sleeping with someone new or sleeping alone?

When a sex life begins with someone new there is the sense of possibility and the excitement of discovering a person before reality sets in.

We hide ourselves in this transition hopeful of being caught up in the fantasy.

If your sex life is going through a difficult time with a partner the fear that this is heading to a bad place or the hopelessness over, can it be fixed may simply be not understanding the concept of transition.

Ending a sex life is sometimes a relief and more often a sense of anxiety about will you ever sleep with someone again and, will it be better than the last experience.

The worry really is if you will  be able to tolerate this transition experience.

Dealing with transition requires the capacity for tolerating the ebb and flow of your life.  This is most important when it comes to sex.  An example is when a relationship ends and someone can not tolerate separation so they rush into a new sex life in the hopes of replacing or healing the anxiety and then may find themselves stuck with someone not right for them.

In an existing partnership when sex ebbs and flows, often people respond to the ebb as if it is permanent and do not move to the flow.

The way you handle transition is your life in general is a foreshadowing of the way you handle transitions in your sex life.